Minecraft

Minecraft.  Minecraft.  Minecraft.  I'm just saying it a few times to see if I can "glamour" myself into falling into the hype.  Nope, didn't work.  I honestly do not understand the excitement and utter obsession over this game.  It's ridiculous.

It all started innocently enough--Connor's dad asked if he could get Connor this game (Minecraft) for use on his XBox (I guess his dad felt the need to actually ask my permission for once because said XBox lives at our house?  Gee, thanks).  By agreeing, I had unwittingly opened the door to a subversive, child personality-altering online game.  At this point, most of Connor's friends were into the game too, so it has to be okay, right?  But like us, these parents also had no clue how this game would ultimately consume every waking minute of consciousness for our children (and Halloween costumes.  And wardrobe choices.  And Christmas gift wish lists.  Oh, and in my particular case, use of my cell phone for approximately 3 hours every afternoon while they call their friend, put them on speaker and chat incessantly about the game).

It happened slowly, apparently innocently.  First, Minecraft on the XBox.  Then since the XBox is hooked up to our only TV in the house and there were times where we wanted to watch something but Connor wanted to use his screen time to play, Connor negotiated Minecraft on his laptop.  Problem solved, or so we thought.

NO.  Problem NOT solved.  Problem made MUCH worse.  Suddenly, Connor started waking up looking like a just-out-of-college software programmer who drinks Mt. Dew out of a Super Big Gulp while spending his nights slamming away on a keyboard in a cage at some high-tech company.  What I mean to say is, his eyes were red.  Dark under-eye circles (in my defense, not a first thing of worry, these things are unfortunately genetic).  Then, in addition to above changes, his eyes starting looking glassy all of the time.

Then the back-talking started.  Who was this kid?  He didn't want to talk to anyone after school, did his homework so he could go "play" in his room.  Stopped arguing about going to bed.  Look, I trusted him.  He did get busted a few times over the summer playing at night, but after making Dylan promise not to tell me (get real, Dylan is forced to tell me everything--duh, we're married), Connor promised he wouldn't do it anymore.

Fast forward 7 months.  Minecraft addiction still as strong as ever.  But, because Connor is trust-worthy (and yes, sometimes I need him occupied so I can do something around the house or make dinner), I kept allowing him to play.  Talking to other parents though, we all began to agree that this game had infiltrated our house, our lives, our children.  They were like Pod People.  As parents, we were over it.

Then last night happened.  Connor had a "man's night" with Dylan.  They ordered pizza, watched a movie, Dylan even let him stay up until 10pm.  This morning, when we woke up to make Matthew's bottle, I noticed Connor's eyes and the fact that he was basically vibrating (you know, when you're so tired you can't sit still without fear of falling asleep?).  I asked the question.  He gave me the answer.  He had been playing Minecraft ALL NIGHT--as in, 10pm-6:30am.  WTF?!?!?!?  I expected, at worse, that he would admit to playing since maybe 5am.  Never all night.

I appreciated his honesty, but I was so pissed off that I sent him straight back up to bed after making him remove EVERYSINGLEDEVICE in his bedroom (and the chargers).  After cooling down, Connor woke up.  We talked about how it would've been worse had he lied to us so we appreciated him being honest.  However, we explained how we felt taken advantage of--we'd trusted him.  Trust is a hard thing to earn and even more difficult to get back once lost.

So in the end, he's grounded.  No more Minecraft.  Yes, he's had a few dramatic hours today after learning of his punishment (he is my child after all, I would've been worried had he NOT given me a few dramatic comments and slumped shoulders).

I'm not sure how long the grounding will last, if Minecraft will ever be allowed to be played on ANY device in our house again, or if Connor will ever be able to keep his laptop in his bedroom again.  It's difficult to be letdown as a parent.  It's even harder though to figure out the appropriate punishment.  I am now beginning to understand why my parents would say, "This hurts us as much as it hurts you" or "I love you very much, but I don't like your actions".

I still love Connor with every ounce of my being.  I respect that he told the truth where it would've been easier to lie.  I hope that this is a one time offense and we don't have to do this again.  What I do know for sure though, is that everyone learned a lesson today, as parents and as a child.  As a parent, being shocked and disappointed hurts.  And punishing someone you love hurts even more.