Day Three Of The "Crib Napping Chronicles"...

Perhaps I should instead title this post the "Kidnapping Chronicles"--because if someone showed up on my doorstep at this very moment and offered to take Bee...I'll be honest.  I'd probably give him up.  Not for FOREVER, just maybe a few days.  And if they could somehow get him to nap in a crib before they brought him home, I'd probably even pay them.  Real money--dolla, dolla bills y'all.

During my pregnancy with Bee, I often wondered what his personality would be like.  I mean, that's the most exciting thing to think about while pregnant, along with what (or who) they will look like... (okay, I also got very excited about Mexican food while pregnant and sometimes wondered if Bee would come out looking like a chicken taco and spitting up refried beans--he didn't, no worries).  Now I realize that I shouldn't have wondered about his personality at all.  This child is most definitely mine. When it comes to change, he resents it and challenges it, just like his mommy.

We are now on day three of transitioning naps from swing to crib.  Let me tell you a few things I've learned about Bee in these three days:

1) He has perseverance (which will come in handy later in life--but for right now, I'm adding it to the "naughty list" of his personality traits).
2) He has  envy-inducing conviction (again, we will all appreciate this later, but going on the "naughty list").
3) He knows where the video monitor is and stares into it practically taunting me with those big eyeballs...
4) He doesn't cry for very long (this is a good thing, I was worried he'd cry for hours).
5) He definitely understands that the crib is for sleeping at nighttime, but during the day, apparently he believes it must be used as a bounce house, cage-fighting ring, yoga studio, or a place to practice the newest sounds his mouth can make (the acoustics must please him).

Here is what I've learned about myself in the past three days:

1) I never thought I'd be fighting a psychological war with an (almost) 8 month old.
2) I never, EVER thought I'd consider surrendering in a psychological war with an (almost) 8 month old.
3) The universe actually DOES conspire against me--because I happened to get sick for the first time all year the day we started this (really?  Like I have an overflowing amount of patience without being sick).
4) I am, without a doubt, amazed at how little sleep Bee thinks he needs--and equally amazed at the fact that he won't sleep.  I mean, c'mon...wipe my butt, stick me in a dark and quiet room with a noise machine that has an alien living in it (three independent people have confirmed this--it says, "Go home..., go home..."), give me my lovey and I will gladly sleep for a few hours.
5) I will no longer believe any claim from a company that makes baby socks.  I've put two different brands on this child's feet so far that advertise being "most difficult for children to pull off!".  They lie.  Bee pulls both brands off with abandon and then uses them to fling about the crib or stuffs them in his mouth.

I have fantasized about putting him back in his swing (especially being sick--what I wouldn't give for two hours of sleep during the day for myself!).  If I take that step back though, I know that it will make this harder to do in the long run.  I would feel awful if he did indeed launch himself out of the swing.  He's already over the weight limit (and I've researched adult sized swings and that brought up some pretty sketchy websites).

The good news is, is that Bee is not upset and isn't crying like a maniac (until about 5pm when he FINALLY hits the wall from lack of sleep) and it IS teaching both of us many important things about the other--mainly, who will back down first.  The advantage I have in this is that I have been practicing my perseverance and conviction for almost 33 years.  Bee only has 7 months on me.

In the meantime, I will continue to stare at the video monitor for hours every day...because Bee may think he's watching me, but I'm watching him too...