I've been thinking a lot lately about my friends. Why? Maybe because I'm so far from my family that my friends make up my "family". Some I have known for a long time. Some have kids too, some don't. Some I've know for a decade (wow, that deserves some sort of fancy award for sure!), some I've only known for a few years. Many I talk to daily, some I talk to weekly or maybe even monthly. Or maybe I only "talk" to them over text message or Facebook. Whatever the medium, they are all important to me for many different reasons.
Every woman who is a mom needs mom friends. Seriously, they will keep you sane, tell you that you are not crazy and ARE doing the right thing parenting-wise (even if you're duct-taping your kid to the "naughty step"), they will let you cry and laugh at the same time, they will pour you endless cups of coffee and more glasses of wine, they will commiserate about breaking bad habits, dealing with terrible teachers, and most importantly, remind you that yes--children CAN survive on quesadillas, Go-Gurts and chocolate milk...basically, they have your "six" (or your back). They will never care if you show up in sweatpants smelling like squash and spit-up while holding out your baby saying, "Take him. I can't do it" while having a meltdown on their doorstep. But they WILL take every chance that they can to remind you that you are beautiful, a great mom, a wonderful wife, etc.
Every woman also needs friends without kids. Why? Because when you hang out with them, you feel free. You can talk about your kids, but guess what? They're usually not with you. However, the great thing is, is that *if* your kids are with you, these friends are not tired themselves from parenting and are a wonderful help and distraction to your kids. I have some friends like this who will read, tickle and play peek-a-boo for hours--seriously. These friends also remind you that you ARE someone special that is not defined only by just your children and significant other. They are also interesting in ways that maybe you aren't--maybe their dating life is crazy, maybe their jobs are nuts, whatever it may be, it might be just different enough for you to live vicariously through them, if only for an afternoon.
I have a few friends that I talk to daily. These precious women somehow still put up with me after crazy text messages, multiple breakdowns over the bumps in life and just generally my bat sh*t crazy high-maintenance ways. And I love these women. They see me at my best, they see me at my worst. Without them I would be lost. One of the greatest benefits of these friendships is that their kids often become best friends with my kids. And there are some days in life where you just need two families getting together and letting go.
My friends who I don't see or talk to as often as I'd like are just as important to me--I think of them daily...and they also put up with my bat sh*t crazy ways and still love me too! How fortunate am I? I look forward to spending time with them because we have things in common that don't necessarily revolve around family. We can vent, laugh and roll our eyes at what life throws our way. We provide each other emotional support in different ways, but are equally important. I love these women--they are strong, they are independent, they are amazing. I always enjoy every moment with them.
All of these friends make up my family here. Without them, I'd be lost. With them, I feel stronger, more complete, more "safe". I am so lucky to have been touched by many different people in my life. I am even more fortunate to call these people friends, my extended family. To each of you out there, thank you. You have impacted my life and made me a better woman because I have met you.
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