Buzz, Buzz...Bee!!

Bee was my partner in crime today.  We went to the doctor's office, ran a few errands and he supervised my laundry job here at home.  Then of course, he napped while I continued on with said laundry job (supervising is EXHAUSTING apparently).

As I was putting Bee down for a nap, I was struck by how big he is.  Did he ever *really* fit in those newborn diapers I found in the closet?  Did he ever lay still to have his diaper changed?  Because these days, changing his diapers or putting on his clothes is like trying to wrangle a steer.

Then, I gave little Bee his "Tucker" (lovey).  As he snuggled and rubbed his face, I saw a glimpse of the newborn that we brought home last July.  And when he woke up from his nap all sleepy and put his little chubby arms around me and nuzzled my neck I swear I smelled the "newborn" smell on him.  

Now, he's tearing apart his playmat and wrestling his stuffed bunny (I can never tell who is winning because the bunny DOES keep coming back for more).  He's surrounded by toys I never thought he'd be big enough to play with.  Time (and life) has a way of screaming right past you.

Bee, I fall more in love with you every single day.  Your grins and giggles crack me up.  We have difficult days, but on those days, after you go to bed, all I can think about is how to make tomorrow better for you--because after all, you make my days perfect.  

I am the luckiest woman ever because I have two of the most incredible boys I could have asked for.  I am lucky to be tasked with raising them to be amazing men.

One Thing Created Just To Make Mommies Smile...

an unrequested hug and kiss on the cheek from a nine year son followed by, "I love you, Mama"--then running off into his room to do homework.

I was stuck between smiling and crying as he ran off--and that was a good place to be.  I'm proud of him for all he has accomplished, for how far he has come, and for what a wonderful little man he is becoming.

But, I will always, ALWAYS see him as my sweet, chubby-cheeked boy obsessed with Thomas the Train.

Connor, I love you.  More than you will ever know.  One day when you have kids you'll understand the enormity of love and admiration a parent has for their children.  Until then, you'll have to keep giving me those surprise moments of love and attention, okay?  I love you Bubba.

My Mind is Officially BLOWN

I may never, ever recover from a segment today on the Today Show.  In case you haven't read my short "bio", I am completely OCD.  Seriously--no joke, I've even had people with M.D. after their name tell me that I am (not just WebMD folks, ok?).  I absolutely do NOT want to make light of this at all.  However, being OCD, I have learned that I have to laugh at myself and my habits sometimes or else I would just think I was batshit crazy ALL of the time (not just 80% of the time).

I'm not OCD in the way that I check things a certain number or times, or count steps (ahem, Dylan), etc.  I am OCD about cleaning.  My obsessiveness about having a clean house can take away hours from my day (or days at a time, that's when it's *really* bad).  I can't stand dirty floors.  I don't like to wear socks in the house until nighttime (duh, because that's when they start to get cold), so if I step on the smallest crumb on the floor barefoot, I want to crawl out of my skin.  Then, I bend myself into ridiculous yoga positions to find that ONESINGLEPIECE of crap on my floor.  I can guarantee you that it's only one piece because I most likely Swiffer vacuumed just an hour before (can someone explain why these things go out?  They run on f*cking batteries after all.  I digress).

Enter having kids, two indoor cats and one husband.  That part of my life and my OCD don't always go hand in hand.  For one thing, microscopic pieces of cat litter on bare floor sends a ripple down my spine.  Toothpaste dried in the sink makes my stomach turn (don't even get me started on the "spit spots" on my mirror).  Toilets are NOT my friend.  I hate the way they look, I hate the way they can smell, I basically hate why they even exist (we can send people into space but we are still forced to crap?  They haven't found a way out of this yet?).

So I did what anyone else in my situation would do--I do bootcamps with those I live with.  When my first son was being potty-trained, I put a container of Clorox wipes next to the toilet (no, I did not allow him to use a "baby potty" because expecting an OCD mom to empty out a shit receptacle multiple times a day is just plain abuse) and taught him out to wipe down the toilet so there were no pee stains on the rim or on the seat.  Success!  His wife is going to LOVE me.

My husband was a little bit more difficult and training is not quite complete (most former bachelors will always be a work in progress).  To spare him, I won't go into details, however I'll leave you with this--he has mastered the Clorox trick but we're still working on not leaving certain devices within spitting distance of the toilet.

The cats?  Well, that one has worked out VERY nicely and I didn't have to do much about it.  Turns out they love, no prefer, to do their business outside.  So the litterbox is just pretty much taking up space in my laundry room.  Now, I am still afraid to walk barefoot outside for fear of kitty roca ending up on my feet, but hey, I consider this one a win--no scooping (for the scooping I would use disposable gloves and disposable face masks), no odor, no nothing.  Success!

Now my littlest little, Bee...well, I'm thinking he might have a more difficult time graduating from "Mommy's OCD Bootcamp".  It's early yet, but he hates having his hands and face washed, doesn't really care if his room smells like a shit bomb of spinach, squash and apples, and isn't one of those babies that delight in baths.  We'll see.  The teaching has already begun, I believe in consistency being key here.

Enter the Today Show this morning.  Segment on bacteria in your kitchen.  For me, this is like trying to divert Bee's attention from lightbulbs (I don't know, he's fascinated by lighting)--NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.  Even though my brain tells me to turn the channel, I am rooted to the spot, hand on remote. I was elated to see that I knew AND followed all of the "kitchen cleanliness" rules (no salmonella surprise here people!).  But the last one.  Oh, the last one.  If you have chipped dishes, cups, etc. bacteria is HIDING in those chips.  I believe they even said that the smallest chip can have the MOST bacteria.  Now I ask you, how many people with kids DON'T have dishes with chips?

Full breakdown.  I can tell you right now that I have a coffee cup downstairs with a chip on the rim.  The part that touches my MOUTH.  Eeeewwww...I want to rinse my mouth with bleach.  My mind is BLOWN.  I'm not sure if I can recover.

Here is something to blow YOUR mind, though (and please no snotty comments about wasting money and stuff, this is for peace of mind)--one of my best girlfriends is my housekeeper.  An OCD mom with a housekeeper.  To me, it makes perfect sense.  Why would I not want my house even cleaner?  She might get things I didn't even see!  It's like wearing a sweater under a jacket.  Double-covered in case of any emergency.

Even better?  She's on her way here today...

Minecraft

Minecraft.  Minecraft.  Minecraft.  I'm just saying it a few times to see if I can "glamour" myself into falling into the hype.  Nope, didn't work.  I honestly do not understand the excitement and utter obsession over this game.  It's ridiculous.

It all started innocently enough--Connor's dad asked if he could get Connor this game (Minecraft) for use on his XBox (I guess his dad felt the need to actually ask my permission for once because said XBox lives at our house?  Gee, thanks).  By agreeing, I had unwittingly opened the door to a subversive, child personality-altering online game.  At this point, most of Connor's friends were into the game too, so it has to be okay, right?  But like us, these parents also had no clue how this game would ultimately consume every waking minute of consciousness for our children (and Halloween costumes.  And wardrobe choices.  And Christmas gift wish lists.  Oh, and in my particular case, use of my cell phone for approximately 3 hours every afternoon while they call their friend, put them on speaker and chat incessantly about the game).

It happened slowly, apparently innocently.  First, Minecraft on the XBox.  Then since the XBox is hooked up to our only TV in the house and there were times where we wanted to watch something but Connor wanted to use his screen time to play, Connor negotiated Minecraft on his laptop.  Problem solved, or so we thought.

NO.  Problem NOT solved.  Problem made MUCH worse.  Suddenly, Connor started waking up looking like a just-out-of-college software programmer who drinks Mt. Dew out of a Super Big Gulp while spending his nights slamming away on a keyboard in a cage at some high-tech company.  What I mean to say is, his eyes were red.  Dark under-eye circles (in my defense, not a first thing of worry, these things are unfortunately genetic).  Then, in addition to above changes, his eyes starting looking glassy all of the time.

Then the back-talking started.  Who was this kid?  He didn't want to talk to anyone after school, did his homework so he could go "play" in his room.  Stopped arguing about going to bed.  Look, I trusted him.  He did get busted a few times over the summer playing at night, but after making Dylan promise not to tell me (get real, Dylan is forced to tell me everything--duh, we're married), Connor promised he wouldn't do it anymore.

Fast forward 7 months.  Minecraft addiction still as strong as ever.  But, because Connor is trust-worthy (and yes, sometimes I need him occupied so I can do something around the house or make dinner), I kept allowing him to play.  Talking to other parents though, we all began to agree that this game had infiltrated our house, our lives, our children.  They were like Pod People.  As parents, we were over it.

Then last night happened.  Connor had a "man's night" with Dylan.  They ordered pizza, watched a movie, Dylan even let him stay up until 10pm.  This morning, when we woke up to make Matthew's bottle, I noticed Connor's eyes and the fact that he was basically vibrating (you know, when you're so tired you can't sit still without fear of falling asleep?).  I asked the question.  He gave me the answer.  He had been playing Minecraft ALL NIGHT--as in, 10pm-6:30am.  WTF?!?!?!?  I expected, at worse, that he would admit to playing since maybe 5am.  Never all night.

I appreciated his honesty, but I was so pissed off that I sent him straight back up to bed after making him remove EVERYSINGLEDEVICE in his bedroom (and the chargers).  After cooling down, Connor woke up.  We talked about how it would've been worse had he lied to us so we appreciated him being honest.  However, we explained how we felt taken advantage of--we'd trusted him.  Trust is a hard thing to earn and even more difficult to get back once lost.

So in the end, he's grounded.  No more Minecraft.  Yes, he's had a few dramatic hours today after learning of his punishment (he is my child after all, I would've been worried had he NOT given me a few dramatic comments and slumped shoulders).

I'm not sure how long the grounding will last, if Minecraft will ever be allowed to be played on ANY device in our house again, or if Connor will ever be able to keep his laptop in his bedroom again.  It's difficult to be letdown as a parent.  It's even harder though to figure out the appropriate punishment.  I am now beginning to understand why my parents would say, "This hurts us as much as it hurts you" or "I love you very much, but I don't like your actions".

I still love Connor with every ounce of my being.  I respect that he told the truth where it would've been easier to lie.  I hope that this is a one time offense and we don't have to do this again.  What I do know for sure though, is that everyone learned a lesson today, as parents and as a child.  As a parent, being shocked and disappointed hurts.  And punishing someone you love hurts even more.

What Happened To Minding Your Manners & Being Considerate?

And no, I'm not just talking about kids these days...adults too!  I came face to face with TWO women today that absolutely floored me with their attitude and rudeness.  I honestly was speechless (and ask my husband, this *rarely* happens).

I went to buy Connor a new pair of  black Converse with neon laces for his big talent show tonight (he's singing lead, yes LEAD! in his band).  I went to Nordstrom at Washington Square because it was right on the way to dropping Bee off with a friend for the afternoon.  When Bee and I got to the parking lot, we parked way out back because I know it takes us awhile to get in and out.  Plus, I'm OCD about my car and don't want anyone to scratch it or dent it.

We took our time in the store and even did a lap around the mall to get some coffee.  When we left, the parking lot had filled up and there were now cars parked on both side of me.  I parked our stroller behind my car and was opening the trunk to put the bag in when someone tapped me on the shoulder.  I jumped because it scared me half to death.  This woman said, "Excuse me--we're parked right next to you and it's obvious that you're going to take awhile getting your things (and with that word she gesticulated with her hand and pursed her lips like I was hauling anthrax around) into your car.  It's a bit cold out here and we really don't want to wait for you and your kid (not baby, KID) to get in".  Wow.  If I hadn't have been holding Bee at the time, I might have smacked the b*tch up.

So I stood there, wrapping the blanket a little tighter around Bee as they hopped in their car and backed out, throwing one last snotty glance at me standing by my back bumper with my stroller, baby and diaper bag.

After I got everything and Bee loaded up and hit the road, I was still in shock (so much in shock that I left my coffee on the top of my car--my precious caffeine people!  I was obviously traumatized!).  I don't think I've ever had someone be that blatantly rude to me.  We were raised to always help others, say "please" and "thank you", open the door for women, hold the door for the person behind you...etc.  My brother is always the first to help someone lift their suitcase into the overhead compartment and I always hold the door, even when I got older and had a baby (or now two!) with me.  We were always grateful, and if we happened to forget to be, we were definitely reminded.  I do not expect kids to be perfect, but I am proud to say that my nephews know "please" and "thank you" *very* well (my 4 year old nephew actually *thanked* me for a "wonderful meal, Aunt Amanda" when I visited) and while we do have to remind Connor to use his manners, he did hold the bus about a month ago for the neighborhood bully that was running to catch it (the one that picks on him the most).

I'm still disappointed in those women and I'm glad Connor wasn't with me to witness that (I truly hope that they were just having a bad day or something and it's not their normal behavior).  I guess my takeaway is this--if you are a parent, please teach and encourage your children to be nice and use their manners, people DO still appreciate it.  And if you are an adult without children, please be patient with those of us who do have children.  We try to move as quickly as possible and we definitely don't set out to make someone's day more difficult.

I Read The Funniest Thing Ever...

It was this list that a dad wrote basically trying to figure out what is going on in his child's head when the said child is having a "moment".  I don't know if it was because I'd had too much coffee or what, but I laughed my a** off.  Because I seriously have done the same mental checklist in my head--for BOTH of my kids!  Here are my top 10...

I think my 9 (almost 10) year old's list is the easiest to usually pick from:

1) My mom said I can't play Minecraft.
2) I don't want to do my homework, I want to play Minecraft.
3) I don't want to take a shower, I want to play Minecraft.
4) Why is my mom talking to me?  HELLO!  I am playing Minecraft.
5) My mouth tastes awful--oh yeah, I forgot to brush my teeth, I was playing Minecraft.
6) Wow, I feel crabby and tired (and my eyes are burning).  Must be because I ninja-played Minecraft at 2am last night (but good thing I wasn't caught).
7) I clogged the toilet again.  I HAD to hold it.  I was playing Minecraft.
8) I think I downloaded a "mod" in Minecraft that crashed my laptop.
9) Who does my mom think she is?  I NEED that charger to keep playing Minecraft--I mean, who is going to call her anyway?!?!?
10) My mom didn't wash my Minecraft t-shirt and says I can't wear my cardboard "creeper" Minecraft hat to school.

**I KNOW a few of my friends can relate to that above list**

Here is Bee's list:
1) After 7 months, this formula is really starting to get old.
2) I tried to poop but it didn't happen.
3) I know Mom thinks these little outfits are cute but the zipper folds up right under my chin and I have to smell leftover formula or food because of that zipper.
4) Speaking of cute outfits, I never get a say.  Ever.
5) I did poop and now Mom is in the bathroom and I can't get out of it.  The hangtime is killing me.
6) Why does Mom put clothes on me anyway?
7) I had to get out of the bath.  Mom still thinks she can distract me enough to like getting out of the water, getting lotioned up and shoved into those footie-jammie things.  Poor lady.
8) The lights aren't on.  Everyone should know by now that I like lights.
9) My waistband is too tight and my onesie is too short.
10)  Raffi has now sang twice on Pandora--no thumbs up!

That's about what I have...I'm sure their brilliant little minds come up with even better ideas.  I'd love to have a peek into what they think all day.  Or maybe not.  But I'm confident enough that my kids love me that I'm sure I get a few pats on the back and "I love my Mommy" thrown in there too!

Speaking of the funniest list I read today, here is the link--you should really check it out: http://jasongood.net/365/2012/12/46-reasons-why-my-three-year-old-might-be-freaking-out/

Let's Chat About Me

By now, everyone knows that I have two adorable boys that are the most well-behaved, perfect, and smartest children ever known to mankind.  They *never* fuss or cry, they eat everything (including all green vegetables!), they go to bed on time every night and I never have to remind my oldest to wash his feet in the shower AND brush his teeth--and my oldest never talks back and he does everything I ask him to do the first time, every time.  My baby's poops don't even smell!  And if they do, it's little a little blast of aromatherapy--lavender and lime blossoms.

RIGHT.  You all know better--I have kids.  Normal kids.  I just typed the above to see how it felt to be one of "those" moms that I run into all the time around here.  The ones that you can tell are lying through their teeth and when they smile, the smile doesn't quite reach their eyes.  And they're also probably jonesing for either more caffeine or wine, or food that doesn't involve a chicken nugget.  Or maybe all, and at the same time.  But, to each their own...

My kids aren't perfect and neither am I--many people I know can back me up on that one.  I try to be the best mom and wife out there and often get in my own way in the process.  I drink too much caffeine, not enough water, I do open up wine while I feed my baby dinner, AND I sometimes eat stale tortilla chips for lunch with a Diet Coke.  I let Bee watch Baby Einstein and I let Connor play Minecraft.  I'd love to say I cook dinner every night, but I don't.  As a matter of fact, we get takeout so often from the Mexican place up the street that we actually bought one of the guys there a baby gift.  No kidding.  Oh, and I also have a nanny come in usually at least once a week so I can get a few hours to myself to run errands (or get that above mentioned pedicure).

But, I love my kids, my friends, my husband.  I have a pretty remarkable life.  I'm getting better at balancing everything as Bee gets older.  I do my hair and makeup most days because it makes me feel good about ME (now, you're not getting me out of my daily sweatpants for awhile okay?).  I realized I need to go to bed earlier than my husband, which sucks, but it also makes me a nicer person the next day.

Even with all the responsibilities in my life, I still obsess over skincare (mainly eye creams because these bags need to be CHECKED people, they will NOT fit in the overhead compartment!), mascara, perfume, and getting my nails done (at least pedicures--I don't want Centaur boots--don't know that reference?  Check out Fox's "New Girl").  I like my house to smell nice and to have clean sheets that smell like lavender to slip into at night.  My car is always clean.

These might seem self-absorbed and some moms would give me a ration of sh*t for sure for doing these things instead of using everysingleminute to take care of my kids and husband.  But you know what?  I'm learning that I need to have these things.  They make me happy, and when I'm happy, life is much easier (for me and everyone else--especially the hubster).